20 Things You Should Know About Dating An Independent Girl

On track

Thought Catalog

1. We need alone time. A little each day and more than a little on other days. It doesn’t mean we’ve lost interest in you.

2. We don’t mind if you don’t call or text us every second. We like it. We won’t be contacting you either. That said, if you’re late, don’t keep us guessing as to when you’ll show up as we’ll make other plans.

3. We can clean up our own messes. We’re not waiting around for you to fix our problems.

4. We are perfectly fine doing chores, running errands, and exercising by ourselves. If you want to join us, we’re glad to have you along, but don’t talk to us while we’re in the zone.

5. We sign up and attend charity events, races, and cultural exhibits on our own. We don’t need a date to feel comfortable at these things. Set us loose in…

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Oh, life..

..how you change so..

Mom got an interview over in the desert, where the second house is. If she gets the job and likes it, she’s moving over there ASAP. If that happens, Dad will quickly follow her. And then there’s me.

Do I stay here, try to make things work like an independent adult with roommates and 2 jobs, working my ass off to survive paycheck to paycheck; or do I move over to the desert with the parents live the life of luxury still, just without anyone I love near me.

While I was fantasizing about the potential adventures I could have by moving – taking my deposit money from the house and traveling for a while with WWOOF; stacking cash at a mediocre job and saving up for my future business/non-profit; etc. – I have been making new friendships and creating a potential new relationship with someone… after a long time of being alone.

He’s a really handsome guy with a good sense of humor and the ambition to try new things that could end up being an amazing life decision… like me? Hah.

When all of this came up, a few days over a week ago, I freaked out and had a break down. I don’t want to leave, truly. I want to stay here and continue to create the life I started for myself here. I’m not ready to uproot myself.

But if I did, I would start a whole new path in life and it might be just what I need. What I need to get my life really started, my goals and dreams slowly becoming reality. The timing just doesn’t seem right though….

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place in my mind, but in reality, I just need to keep moving forward, day by day. Do what makes me happy now and not worry so much about the future. I am preparing myself as best as I can for the time being, and as more information comes, I will make decisions.

Never Knowing

Being busy does not mean being productive, necessarily. I guess being productive depends on your perspective of what needs to get done. If your mission is to enjoy a day off and be lazy, going to the movies with an old friend and kicking back on the beach is a productive day. If your goal of the day is to get caught up on school work, house work and other errands, the previous hypothetical situation would be a really terrible way to spend your time.

I’ve had a certain phrase stuck with me for the last few weeks, since I read the random article it came from. Something about the ’20 things people in their 20’s need to know’ (it wasn’t very insightful for the most part). There was one bullet point that made me confused and curious: You should always be busy.

Why should I always be busy? Why can’t I relax? Their reasoning was because some dude who did something awesome spent 7 years straight to do that awesome thing and everyone should do the same in hopes of creating something awesome too. Which is a good thing if it inspires people to reach out and touch their own specific dream and make it a reality. But such a broad and semi-vague point to make….. always be busy, doing something.

Busy work isn’t always the best thing. Keeping yourself distracted from what’s inside of you; inside you’re head, inside your heart; it isn’t healthy. Spending all of your time trying to be something might leave you unsatisfied in the end… What if what you end up with isn’t what you wanted at all, and you spent so much time DOING and no time REFLECTING, you can’t even remember where things might have gotten mixed up?

In my opinion… the 1 thing every person of any age should know is.. balance. Balance is the key. There is a fine line of being too busy and not busy enough, and being busy for the right reasons or the wrong. Living a life of absolutes can be dangerous, while living a life of balanced options can be an eye-opening experience to the uncountable shades of beauty our existence creates. Then again, you can say that vice versa and it is true as well. So I guess all you can say is, find a balance between those two, right? 😉

Smancy Party

So last night was my Smancy Party! Smashed + Fancy = Smancy. We were going for an Audrey Hepburn/Breakfast at Tiffany’s look and I think, for the most part, we succeeded (excluding the big ass bear in a tie). I feel that this was my most successful party yet of this year, but there is more to come yet!

Smancy PartyI have to make a list of attendees, because I have no idea what the total amount of people was…
Emily, Lance, Chris, James, Stephanie, Kameron, Scruffy, Ty, Travis, Dylan, Shane, Ashley, Zach, Taylor, Santos, Joey, Emma, Ryan, Kelsey and her friend, Sawyer, his brother and his girlfriend, Andy, Cory, Becca and her friend, Alisha, Rozeee, Matt, Tatiana, Jamie, Reyna…. + me! 34

I am really happy that these parties are becoming more and more successful, and I am learning so much about people and myself through out all of the adventures. You can’t have a successful gathering without people who give back to the energy as much as you put in. People have a great time and make new friends and memories.. what could be better during this time in our lives?

It is so important to reflect on these times and remember how fortunate I am in life. Yesterday, I felt sad and confused about so many different, random things and I am so glad that only 24 hours later, I am learning why I was sad and how I can prevent that from happening again. I really do take on the hardship of others in my mind and let the uncontrollable effect the ability I have to understand what I can control.

I have nice people surrounding me almost all of the time; I can do basically whatever I want; I know I am a good person and I am working on getting better; every day I live is another day I love.

100 Days of Happiness: Day 14

I’m two days off track in writing, but that is what the focus of my happiness for this entry: pressing the pause button and appreciating life by taking a step back. My dad always tells me that you can do what you love, and do it until you die, but if you don’t take a break to rest your bones and rest your mind, you might end up off course or burnt out.

Even with things as simple as writing in a journal everyday, there’s a point where taking a “vacation” is healthy. Letting your mind rest and not worry about something you need to do, by your own standards or by others. It’s like working: you need a weekend. Maybe not as frequently, but there are times when it’s necessary. You just need to have the strength of willpower to get you back on track when it’s time to go again.

I’m happy to have thing take up my time: my art, writing, cooking, friends, local shows (and non-local shows), work, school, volunteering, etc. And at the same time, I am happy to have small breaks from all of those things when the time is right. Taking a breather is just as important as being productive when you lead a full life.

100 Days of Happiness: Day 13

Good health!

After this week, I will be done with physical therapy I’m pretty sure and almost back to normal, after breaking my ankle. This has been a really important lesson in taking care of myself and understanding (on a very small scale) how difficult life can be for someone who is not completely able bodied.

I am happy that I could recover quickly – I did the deed on May 30th, and here it is July 28th. My last day of PT is July 30th. So exactly 2 months and I have almost completely recovered. That’s pretty dang good. I thought I was going to be incapacitated for a much longer time.

I am happy that I have my friends and family to support me. They have really made life exceptionally easy on me through out this whole ordeal. I hope that they never have to experience something like this in the future, but if they do, I will be there for them just as they were for me!

100 Days of Happiness: Day 12

SobrietyThe Pajama Party last night was a success, for the most part. With only 5 hours of sleep and now at work, I am groggy with soar neck, but I am ecstatic and so overwhelmingly grateful for my friends and my life. Even with the down-in-the-deeps issues that we are faced with sometimes, I can still say with extreme confidence that life. is. beautiful!

We all came together and gathered $53 for a fundraiser that is being hosted by an old, dear friend that most of the Atown Park Rat grew up with; Destiny. That, in itself, is such an eye-opening inspiration to me! Knowing that if you give them the opportunity, more often then not, a majority of the community WILL pitch in. Not everyone can help in every way, but when they can, they will.

There was a hiccup at the end of the night that is the inspiration for this post, aside from the positives I experienced… Someone who I haven’t had the opportunity to be around very frequently came over in the middle of the party and ended up so ridiculously drunk, it took 6 people to convince him to leave. That was after he was inappropriately rubbing on multiple people, doing yoga in the middle of the walk way and falling over everywhere (with his doodle sticking out sometimes… eek…), playing guitar at 2a.m. and blasting my stereo system and just being all around inconsiderate. We finally got him in his van, someone drove him to the nearest Park n’ Ride and he slept it off, (after texting me 20+ times).

It just made me realize how people can change so quickly, and so immensely, with the intake of poison. Any kind of poison, really – be it a physical intoxication or a mental consumption. To consume so much alcohol that it overtakes you mind and body; to dwell within a negative mindset for an extended period of time to the point where you feel you can’t rise above your own thoughts.. these things are unhealthy traits and habits that I feel people should spend more time focusing on, examining and reacting appropriately from their experiences. That if you get too drunk and various people ask you to refrain from touching them or whatever, perhaps the next time you have a clear mind, you need to sit with yourself and review your choices….

I am happy to be sober from the poisons that once overcame me with despair and addiction. I am still on a journey of clean health and mind, and I am no where near exempt from the pit falls of tasting a new poison, never tried before, but I am proud of myself to never let it get to a point where I feel like the actions I made could not be explained or reversed. A sober mind is a happy mind, in my personal opinion.