I compromised myself, changed into being a fake for a split second, to have a few more moments of time with another fake. I stopped being real to get what I want and of course, I didn’t get it. I don’t deserve it when it has to come from lies.

I lied to myself. I lied to my soul. I’ve half assed attempts out of fear and lack of confidence, scared of being hurt and hurting myself. Allowing myself to be used to someone else’s pleasure with nothing in return.

I’m never going to get what I want, acting like this. The Universe isn’t about to let me rest on my laurels and do the bare minimum to get what I want. What I deserve is something amazing, but I must earn it to be true.

I have to be true.

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