..how you change so..
Mom got an interview over in the desert, where the second house is. If she gets the job and likes it, she’s moving over there ASAP. If that happens, Dad will quickly follow her. And then there’s me.
Do I stay here, try to make things work like an independent adult with roommates and 2 jobs, working my ass off to survive paycheck to paycheck; or do I move over to the desert with the parents live the life of luxury still, just without anyone I love near me.
While I was fantasizing about the potential adventures I could have by moving – taking my deposit money from the house and traveling for a while with WWOOF; stacking cash at a mediocre job and saving up for my future business/non-profit; etc. – I have been making new friendships and creating a potential new relationship with someone… after a long time of being alone.
He’s a really handsome guy with a good sense of humor and the ambition to try new things that could end up being an amazing life decision… like me? Hah.
When all of this came up, a few days over a week ago, I freaked out and had a break down. I don’t want to leave, truly. I want to stay here and continue to create the life I started for myself here. I’m not ready to uproot myself.
But if I did, I would start a whole new path in life and it might be just what I need. What I need to get my life really started, my goals and dreams slowly becoming reality. The timing just doesn’t seem right though….
I am stuck between a rock and a hard place in my mind, but in reality, I just need to keep moving forward, day by day. Do what makes me happy now and not worry so much about the future. I am preparing myself as best as I can for the time being, and as more information comes, I will make decisions.